⭐️☆☆☆☆ "Premier Plus" actually means "Standard Minus" (But hey, some people love a wardrobe-sized room!)
As someone who stays at Premier Inns all over the country, I thought I’d treat myself to the "Premier Plu at the Great Yarmouth Seafront branch. Premier Inn loves to tell us that we always know "what we're getting" with them. Well, turns out if you book a Plus room here, what you're getting is a masterclass in shrinkflation.
Silly me for thinking "Plus" meant enhanced, when in reality, it means paying extra to see how much of the hotel experience they can actively subtract.
Let's start with the room. It was significantly smaller than a standard room, featuring a bed that had seemingly shrunk in the wash. But do not fear! When I politely observed this at reception, the lovely woman behind the desk enlightened me with some top-tier hospitality logic: "Some people like a smaller room." Absolutely visionary. Next time I want to pay a premium to feel like I’m sleeping in a cruise ship broom closet, I'll know exactly where to go.
As for the highly anticipated "Seafront View"? They’ve completely done away with old-fashioned concepts like "fresh air" or "the sound of crashing waves." Instead, you get a solid, un-openable sheet of thick glass framing a microscopic view of the coast. It’s exactly like looking at a postcard of the beach, except you paid extra to look at it while trapped inside a climate-controlled greenhouse.
To compensate for the lack of space, oxygen, and a proper bed, they generously threw in four coffee pods (which successfully produced a staggering one inch of coffee each), two tiny bottles of water, two Freddo-the-frog-sized chocolates, and an ironing board. Because nothing says "luxury coastal holiday" quite like a massive ironing board hogging 40% of your remaining floor space.
If you love paying extra for a smaller bed, zero sea breeze, and a receptionist who moonlights as a comedian, the Great Yarmouth Seafront "Plus" experience is absolutely for you. For the rest of us who expect an upgrade to be... you know, an upgrade 😂