LF
Lauren Flynn
Dec 27, 2025
Horrible stay. 0/5 stars. Front desk staff is rude, room booked was not available so forced to stay on pull out couch, carpets into and out of the hotel are absolutely disgusting and should be replaced. Sheets were not washed and towels yellowed and gross. Wrote a poem to commemorate this horrible stay in a humorous way. Seek other accommodations unless you’re looking to torture yourself and your guests.
Twas the night after Christmas I came a searching for a bed
With visions of clean sheets and a hot shower dancing in my head.
Alas even before I arrived in this fine land,
Came the very first wrench in my plans.
The front desk they called and made themselves quite clear
The two beds I’d asked for were certainly not here.
Instead they uttered words that would fill any man with dread,
“We can put you in a room with a pull out instead.”
While my bones they ached at hearing this plan,
There wasn’t another room to stay in this land
For you see id brought with me my fine furry steed,
Not a reindeer in fact but my good dog indeed.
And while she’s cleaner in fact than some people I know,
The other inns disagreed so we had nowhere to go.
Malcontented alas but resigned to my fate,
I continued my journey towards your fine gates,
A touch early was I, twenty minutes or so,
But weary from my travels, I attempted to go,
Check into my room and enjoy a brief rest,
Alas my fine friends came my next test.
I was told in a tone that could use a touch more tact,
“It’s not ready yet, you’ll have to come back.”
Back to my chariot to wait in the cold,
Alas this whole ordeal was getting quite old.
Twenty minutes I waited for my room to be prepared,
And when I was at last let in, I was scared.
For my accommodations were indeed underwhelming,
The stains on the carpet and the sheets set my heart a trembling,
I’d waited you see for my room to be cleaned,
But it hadn’t in fact been cleaned it would seem.
A bed on the geriatric couch I did endeavor to make,
On springs that seemed intent to break.
Ignoring the stains on the sheets and the pillows,
That threatened to make my knees shake like willows.
The yellowed hue of the towels was alarming you see,
For I suspected the linens were older than me.
Another man might have packed up and made to flee,
Indeed I would have liked to, if it was only me,
But my pup needed a place to rest,
And so my delicate senses were put to the test.
I wrestled my disgust and forced it down,
Telling myself I’d soon be leaving this town.
After a night of tossing and turning on itchy sheets,
I thought a hot shower would improve my mood at least,
And while the hot water did feel like heaven,
I was too tall for the shower at a measly five seven.
But the dawn had come and my salvation at last
For I intended to leave, and leave I did fast.
So to all those seeking a fine place to rest,
I encourage you to go elsewhere lest,
You’re subjected to the same sad fate as me and my guests,
0/5 stars, do not recommend, 150$ is a lot to spend,
On a room that’s not clean and sheets that would send,
A Victorian child to the hospital with some deadly disease,
And a pull out couch that’s begging to be thrown out if you please.
Alas I survived to never return,
But from my suffering I hope others will learn,
This place is not fit for human occupation,
So seek other inns if you’re on a vacation.