Express by Name, Full Price by Checkout (Emotional Recovery Fees Not Included)
They say you get what you pay for. Here, once the hidden dog fee landed, we paid nearly Holiday Inn prices — and got the Express experience.
It started at check-in. I'd pre-selected an upstairs room, but was given the ground floor — they knew nothing about my selection. Then came a surprise £15-per-day fee for our little dog, which appeared nowhere on Booking.com. I was surprised — surprised, not exasperated — but the response I got was essentially a telling-off for not knowing: "You have to take it up with them! That's what I'd do! It's listed on our website!" An automatic pushback reflex. Zero customer service. Simple kindness and a little understanding would have been all that was needed.
The same pushback culture showed up again with the TV. Our room's TV offered Netflix, but when my kids tried to log in, there was an internet issue. The staff member I asked was kind at first — he seemed junior and went to check with someone. He came back transformed: "We didn't promise Netflix, we're undergoing renovations, so it's not there." When I asked whether it was meant to be there — whether I was losing part of the package — I got "No, no! It's not our fault!" I hadn't said anything about fault. A very strange tell-off vibe, and by now clearly the house style.
Breakfast was horrendous. Calling it a "free breakfast" when it's baked into a substantial room rate is off to begin with. It's advertised until 10 on weekends; we arrived at 9:55 on a Saturday to find a lone spot of scrambled eggs (powdered, I'm guessing) and nothing else. When asked, staff shrugged: "Yep, it's almost closed, so that's what's left." Two other guests pointed out it was still before closing time, to which the manager — judging by the uniform — replied, "It's common sense." That is the level of customer service at this hotel. With a group of guests now unhappy, she relented and brought out a few things — begrudgingly, like a child pouting — including sausages and bacon that looked like they'd been cooked in cornmeal.
Bar service is supposedly around the clock. After hours of late-night work in the lounge, I wanted a nightcap before turning in — but there was nobody at the desk for ages. I spotted a staff member setting up breakfast and simply asked if it was possible to get a drink. The response: "I'm not gonna come out from what I'm doing here to get you a drink!" — delivered as though I were a belligerent drunk who'd stumbled in off the street demanding free juice, rather than a guest finishing a work evening. This from a man with his shirt half in, half out, barely speaking clearly. I didn't bother. Ten minutes later, while I was still plugging away at closing things up, he rolled out to the counter and shouted over, 'Do you want sumfin'?!' That, again, was the level of customer service.
Then we went to the regular Holiday Inn — not Express — and it was a complete 180. Welcoming, kind, real food (bacon that didn't resemble pigs' ears for a dog), and no hidden dog fee, so the actual price difference was minimal for all of that.
Lesson learned: don't go Holiday Inn Express thinking you're getting Holiday Inn. This product line is incredibly unrefined, at least in Colchester.