I have to say that the parodies that I have seen on Youtube and elsewhere on the Internet, I believed were a little excessive and not that true to life. However, after visiting the CEX Plymouth store this morning I have absolutely changed my mind and say that the parodies just don't go far enough.
A full month after I'd ordered a Beolab A8 from CEX, and it arrived in an absolutely appalling state, broken, and with parts missing and the transportation box held together with dozens and dozens of bits of DPD courier tape, I was finally given the go-ahead yesterday to return it to CEX. I was NOT offered any sort of apology by Alwin from Customer 'Support'; there was a high expectation that I would just do as I was told, and carry out my 'duties' as a good CEX shopper, and fellow human-being.
I did, at first, point out to Alwin that the onus was not on ME to return the item, but on CEX to come collect the damaged unit.
However, because I plan to go away for a few days, I thought the best option was for me to go into Plymouth and hand the wrecked CEX purchase over the counter to a member of CEX staff. Big mistake!
CEX knows that I am disabled, but I made the difficult journey into town nevertheless and waited in the store's long queue feeling more & more dizzy, while the two male staff dealt with other people. My turn came and I gently placed the MP3 player on the counter, explaining that I was told to bring it in by CEX Customer 'Support'.
The first man was evidently a trainee as he had to ask another gentleman, a tracksuit-donned Worzel Gummidge wannabe, with a long, straggly & unkempt beard, who disappeared, came back and read through my invoice and CEX Customer 'Support' email which I had dutifully taken in to the store with me.
He baffled me with a verbal description of what he had to do, saying that I had messed things up by obtaining back my money from my bank. "So, it's my fault, is it?", I enquired? "Well, it doesn't make it any easier", Worzel replied. "I'm evidently a very naughty boy then, am I?" Both men looked at each other, but didn't deny it.
"Just give me a receipt for the broken player, and then I can be on my way", I said.
"Oh, we don't give receipts", Worzel said.
"You don't give receipts?", I asked. "Then how am I supposed to prove that I have left the unit with you?"
"What is your name, then?" I enquired.
"We don't give out names", replied Worzel.
"Here, take this pen", said I, handing him a pen from my bag. "Just write your name on the invoice which I have just given to you", I told him, "and then I know that you have taken it from me".
"Ooh, we can't do that", he said, giving a sharp-intake-of-breath at the same time.
"Well, write a simple receipt on a piece of paper of your own choosing", retorted I.
"We can't do that either", he finally said.
And with that I just walked out of the store feeling that the Youtube parodies of CEX aren't only correct... but they really don't go far enough.
Beware, therefore, budding CEX-purchasers, and be prepared to put up with CEX staff with little or no common sense, or posessing just one iota of customer 'support' skills. They certainly don't exist. At least not in the CEX Plymouth store, it would seem.