CS
Christopher Sloan
Jun 14, 2026
I arrived at Sonic and parked in a stall at precisely 17:29, full of hope, optimism, and the unreasonable belief that ordering a single milkshake would not become a defining life event. I pressed the call button and began what I can only describe as a spiritual journey. Ten minutes passed. I aged. Civilizations may have risen and fallen. Eventually, a voice answered.
I ordered one medium shake with caramel and hot fudge. One. Not a banquet. Not a catering order. A single milkshake.
What followed was less “waiting for food” and more “observing the passage of time itself.” While I remained parked in milkshake purgatory, five other cars on my side of the building were served, not privy to the visitors in the far off distant land that lay on the other side. Two of them had the audacity to arrive after me, yet somehow unlocked a higher tier of reality where drinks and meals are attainable.
Meanwhile, three cars in the mobile order stalls received their food as if they had entered into some secret contract with Sonic that I was not made aware of. I understand they likely ordered ahead, but I did not realize that placed me in a different geological era of service. Somewhere between minute 12 and 20, I began to suspect the cows were being consulted personally.
At one point, I considered canceling my order, but I was already too emotionally invested in the outcome. I had waited too long. I had seen too much.
To further deepen the experience, a table of children received their meals shortly after I arrived. I watched as they ate, laughed, and completed an entire dining cycle. They finished their food, achieved closure, and entered their horseless carriages driven by larger, yet similar looking creatures. I remained. Waiting. Still milkshake-less. I now understand why explorers used to pack supplies before long journeys.
At long last, at 17:58, my shake arrived—nearly half an hour after I ordered it. By then, it felt less like a dessert and more like a reward for endurance.
I came for a milkshake. I left with perspective.