Papa Johns Pizza

Reviews

• BB

  Becca Banks

  4 days ago
  1.0
  I AM STANDING IN MY KITCHEN, STARING AT A DISK OF CARDENDED DECEIT, AND I HAVE LOST MY MIND. We ordered an Original Crust pizza. Simple. Standard. A well-established, thick-bordered, pillowy canvas of dough. What arrived at my doorstep, however, was not an Original Crust pizza. It was a crisp, wafer-thin cracker. It was a culinary tortilla. It was so impossibly, aggressively thin that if I held it up to the light, I could probably see into another dimension where Papa John’s actually delivers the right order. Naturally, I called the store, assuming a harmless, human mistake had occurred. "Ah, forgive us!" I expected them to say. "A mix-up in the frenzy of the pizza oven!" NO. The woman who answered the phone didn't just deny the mistake—she launched an all-out assault on reality itself. With the unearned confidence of an ancient deity, she looked me dead in the ear over the radio waves and insisted—adamantly—that this paper-thin disc of delusion WAS, in fact, an Original Crust. She then delivered the ultimate mic-drop of gaslighting: “I made it myself!” LIES! SACRILEGE! If you made that yourself, ma'am, then you possess the supernatural ability to compress matter to the subatomic level! You have folded space-time into a pepperoni-covered napkin! I am holding a geometric impossibility! Did the crust shrink out of fear? Did it evaporate in transit?! Do you think I don't know what BREAD IS?! Defeated by her absolute refusal to bend to basic physics, I pleaded: Can you just remake it in a different crust? And then came the prophet’s curse. The oracle of the oven leaned into the receiver and declared that no, she could not, for if she remade this pizza, IT WOULD TURN OUT EXACTLY THE SAME. A temporal loop! A cursed fate written in the stars! Every pizza she touches is doomed to collapse into a cracker! Then—the ultimate insult. She asked if I wanted to save the remake credit for another time. ANOTHER TIME?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS A HOBBY?! DO YOU THINK I AM CALLING YOU ON A THURSDAY NIGHT TO DIAL-A-FIGHT FOR SPORT?! I AM HUNGRY NOW! MY STOMACH IS A VOID! I DO NOT WANT FUTURE PIZZA IN THE FANTASY REALM OF TOMORROW, I WANT FOOD IN MY MOUTH BEFORE MY SOUL LEAVES MY BODY! They finally agreed to remake the whole order—a small mercy, as my cold, lonely wings sat on the counter weeping in solidarity—but the universe wasn't done laughing. I HAD TO GO PICK IT UP MYSELF. I dragged my enraged body into my car, drove to the store like a madman, snatched the box, and yanked back the lid. AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. IT WAS ORIGINAL CRUST. IT WAS THICK. IT WAS PLUMP. IT WAS LITERALLY PERFECT. THE PROPHECY WAS A LIE! THE CURSE WAS BROKEN! SHE COULD MAKE IT RIGHT, SHE JUST CHOSE VIOLENCE! 0/10 stars. The crust was thin, the logic was nonexistent, but the audacity was truly infinite.
• SS

  SarahSmile

  Aug 7, 2026
  5.0
  The Hawaiian pizza with the garlic stuffed crust was amazing, seriously one of the best pizzas we’ve ever had. The employee (I believe she was a manager) was so kind as well. We will definitely be back, and I highly recommend this location!!!
• DS

  Dominic Santore

  Jul 31, 2026
  5.0
  Wonderful staff and great food for great prices. The manager is so great, she’s the best!
• RH

  Robert Heym

  Apr 4, 2026
  2.0
  Something is wrong with your dough. This is the 3rd time I have gotten pizza where the regular crust comes out like thin crust. Proof your dough.
• CL

  curtis van loocke

  Nov 20, 2024
  1.0
  Manager was rude and it took 2 hours for the worst pizza I’ve had in Ashtabula

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