TM
Taylor McBride
Jul 18, 2026
PROPER WAY TO EAT A CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH (2026 Edition)
1. Do not make eye contact with the human employees upon entering. 👁️👁️👁️
2. Using the synthetic ordering machine, select Tacos. 🤖🤖🤖
3. Select Cheesy Gordita Crunch. 🌮🌮🌮
4. Sub Out Beef (never eat the beef, see earlier editions for reference.) 🤢🤢🤢
5. Sub In Chicken. 🍗🍗🍗
6. Select Extra [Baja] Sauce.
7. Pay. 💷💷💷
8. Upon receiving your order, check to make sure the cheese was sufficiently melted in between the Taco/Gordita shells by pulling them apart. 🫠🫠🫠
9. Apply Fire Sauce to the interior lining of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. 🔥👌
10. Open the Taco portion and apply Fire Sauce here as well. 🔥👌🙏
11. Enjoy 🌮🌮🌮
REVIEW TWO STARS: ⭐️⭐️
For my 16th Birthday party, I got to pick the restaurant and although Taco Bell did deliver thrills and satisfying memories for me and my family on that fateful day, it sure has fallen off since then! 📉
The food has a ho-hum delivery and the assembled food products, when you first see them, do not immediately register to the brain as food itself. 🌭🥪🥗
In an attempt to create a more photogenic presentation, I flagged down a human employee, "Can I have a tray?" She looked at me, puzzled. "A tray...you know (miming the act of carrying a tray) for putting food on and eating?" She politely let me know (after checking) that they do not in fact have trays. 📥
With that being said, I did my very best to space out the ingredients evenly, and otherwise nurse these poor neglected C.G.C.'s back to health, along with the new "feature" menu item I tried as well: Two Slow Roasted Chicken Fajita Street Chalupas (change it). Both of the items came out in my photographs as something that could potentially pass as food, but, can't stress this enough, those are an advertisement for my skill, instincts, and sheer power of will as a photographer. 📸
FINAL THOUGHTS: The two-star review might not be low enough but I am open to being convinced otherwise. If you have enjoyed my pictures attached to this review and felt even the smallest twinge of appetite or hunger, please consider scrolling my profile for some of my other examples of food photography. In closing, if you are considering ruining your day with TBell, make sure to skip the robot ordering system and download the app for order ahead, because the in-app promotions are the only thing that prevents it from being ridiculously overpriced. 👎👎
UPDATE: I did not get sick! (You know, from the lettuce 🥬)