My husband and I have eaten at Monarch Chophouse probably five times, always after a run at Black Hawk. It’s a solid choice.
We’ve eaten at some of the finest steakhouses in the country, and honestly we hit steakhouses on the regular just because we like a good meal.
My husband is genuinely a better cook than most of them; the man sears a stovetop strip like he’s auditioning for a cooking show weekly at home.
So our usual move: he gets a steak, I steal two bites and spend the rest of the meal deeply committed to soup, salad, and sides and dessert. Our bill regularly rivals what we’d pay if I’d ordered my own filet, but we always seem to get side-eyed like we’re splitting a value meal.
Last week, though, we hit a new low (high?) in fine dining miscommunication, courtesy of a waiter who I’m convinced was operating on his own wavelength entirely. And who was not a fan of ours with the no alcohol and salad order.
When he read our order back to us, he casually said “so you’re gonna split the steak,” and I didn’t think much of it — I mean, sure, in the sense that I take two bites. But when he came back out to prep the table for dinner, it became very clear he meant it literally. I caught it just in time and said, “Hey, just to clarify, I’m gonna have a couple bites of his steak, you don’t need to cut it in half.” He looked at me, completely unbothered, and said: “Oh, we already split it.”
Already. Past tense. Nothing to be done. The die, apparently, had been cast in the kitchen.
What arrived was a New York strip bisected like a hot dog bun, sides divvied up across two plates like he’d consulted a divorce lawyer. My husband and I just sat there. Silent. Staring at this steak, split down its soul, like the kitchen had performed an unnecessary surgery nobody consented to — and, worse, one that couldn’t be undone. He called it “a desecration.” I have never seen a grown man so betrayed by a cutting board, especially one who has genuinely earned the right to have opinions about steak.
To make it funnier, it came out well under medium-rare, so now it wasn’t just needlessly bisected, it was also barely cooked — a real double whammy of chaos. My husband ate about a third of it in stunned disbelief while I took my two ceremonial bites, slid the rest back over, and returned to my sides like nothing had happened. When the waiter returned it was to the dissected steak on one plate. And me eating Brussels sprouts and corn. Lol.
We left an extra-generous tip anyway, mostly because the whole thing was too funny to hold a grudge over, and partly to make a point: we go to steakhouses because we love them, not because we’re counting pennies — and we could’ve ordered two full steaks if we wanted. We just don’t want to.
Great sides. Absurd night. Ten out of ten for dinner theater, minus several points for the steak’s structural integrity — and for a waiter who apparently considers “already split it” a valid form of customer service.
We have talked about this in disbelief several times and end up dying of laughter. Who cuts a steak hot dog style? And if it was meant as a subtle swipe to what they thought were lowly customers - even worse. Insane! Still can’t believe it.