JC
Jayden Crespo
3 days ago
rosa where do I begin
Honestly, there are so many places I could start, but none of them feel quite big enough on their own, because when I think about you and everything wrapped up in knowing you, it’s not just one moment or one quality or one memory, it’s this long, complicated, surprisingly meaningful collection of things that somehow all fit together. And I guess the simplest thing I can say is that knowing you has been genuinely impactful, but also not in some perfect, polished, storybook way—more in a real, human, sometimes messy way that actually sticks.
You have this presence that’s hard to ignore, but not in a loud way. It’s more like you enter a space and things feel different, but you don’t announce it. You just are, and people adjust around that. I’ve always admired that about you, but I’ll be honest, there were times where I didn’t fully understand it at first, or times where it felt confusing, but even then, I never stopped respecting it. Even when things weren’t clear, or when I didn’t have all the context, there was always this underlying sense that you were genuine.
You’re thoughtful in ways that don’t always get credit, but they should. You notice details, you remember things, you care more than you let on—but you also don’t make a performance out of it. And I think that’s one of the things I appreciate most about you. You don’t try to convince people you’re kind or smart or capable; you just show it over time. But at the same time, I’ll admit, there were moments where I wished you’d let that side of you be seen a little more, because you deserve that recognition.
And yes, there were challenges, and misunderstandings, and moments where things felt a little off or not quite aligned—but even then, I never felt like those moments erased the good. If anything, they made it clearer how much the good mattered. Because you don’t invest energy into something unless it matters to you, and that alone says a lot. But still, I think we both learned things along the way, sometimes the hard way, and sometimes not as gracefully as we would’ve liked.
You have this ability to balance strength and softness that not a lot of people manage. You’re resilient, but you’re not cold. You’re emotional, but not careless. And while you might not always give yourself enough credit for that, it shows. It shows in how you talk to people, how you listen, how you react when things don’t go according to plan. And sure, nobody’s perfect, and there were moments where communication could’ve been better, or timing could’ve been kinder—but even those moments don’t cancel out the respect I have for you.
What really stands out to me is that knowing you feels real. Not idealized, not simplified, not surface-level. It’s layered. It’s nuanced. It’s the kind of connection that makes you think, even after the moment has passed. And while there are things I might do differently looking back, I don’t regret having known you or shared space in your life. That part matters to me more than I probably ever said out loud.
So if this letter sounds long, and a little winding, and full of “buts,” that’s because that’s how real appreciation works sometimes. It’s not blind praise; it’s recognition. And I recognize you for who you are—not just the easy parts, but the whole picture. And overall, when I look back, the feeling I’m left with is gratitude. Gratitude for the lessons, the moments, the growth, and the genuine connection that came with knowing you.
Take that for whatever it’s worth, but know that it’s sincere.