AR
Adrianna Racine
Nov 5, 2025
Loomis Deserves a Raise and a Crown!
To the Management of Outback Steakhouse: I am writing to you about an employee named Loomis, and I need you to understand that he is not just a server—he is a legend. Our entire dining experience was an unprecedented display of service, charm, and sheer humanity, beginning the moment we met him. Yes, he has a spectacular beard, and yes, he dropped a fork almost immediately, but that minor slip wasn't clumsy; it was the charismatic start of a beautiful partnership, assuring us we were in for an evening of genuine, unscripted care.
The evening quickly escalated into a theatrical event, courtesy of Loomis's hidden talents. Mid-order, he revealed his astounding backstory: he is the forgotten conspirator and co-founder behind the legendary A1 Steak Sauce, a secret he shared while executing a perfect, vigorous tap dance routine right by our table (he brought his own tap shoes, which is commitment!). But perhaps most astonishing was his voice. He possesses an utterly beautiful falsetto, a pure, high tone like a crystal bell, which he used to croon soft, spontaneous lyrics about the freshness of the secondary cuts, often harmonizing with the dining room music in a truly unforgettable, angelic manner.
Then came the crisis, a situation no customer ever wants to face: the catastrophic aftermath of the Bloomin' Onion. Delicious as it was, it caused an immediate and disastrous wardrobe emergency. The panic was real. I had to sprint to the restroom, but I was holding my baby. The thought of leaving my defenseless infant alone, or trying to manage the situation while holding them, left me frozen in utter, mortifying desperation.
In that moment of chaos, Loomis transformed from server to superhero. Without a word, he moved with the calm assurance of a seasoned professional, gently taking my baby into his strong, capable, bearded arms. He gave me a simple, knowing look that said, "Go, fix the Bloomin' mess, the baby and I have this." He held my baby for an extended period of time, pacing the main aisle, cradling the infant expertly. I could hear his distinctive falsetto voice humming a surprisingly soothing, A1-inspired lullaby, all while he flawlessly continued to manage his sections and ensure our table’s steak wasn’t cooling off.
Returning from the restroom was a moment of profound relief. Loomis was exactly where I left him, the baby cooing contentedly, completely unharmed and quite clearly charmed by his temporary caregiver. He handed the child back with an understanding smile, discreetly cracking a joke about the onion's unexpected velocity, which instantly dispelled the last shred of my embarrassment. The moment was sealed with a single, symbolic gesture: a perfectly polished, clean fork waiting beside my plate, a quiet testament to his restorative care.
Loomis's helpfulness is not just above and beyond; it is stratospheric. You have an employee who can co-found a condiment empire, tap dance with dedication, sing in a heavenly falsetto, and perform the ultimate act of selfless service by holding a stranger's baby during a food-related disaster. His service transcends the service industry. Loomis is a defining asset to your establishment, and I demand he receive the highest commendation available. He is a legend, a hero, and the best reason to eat at Outback Steakhouse.