BW
Brian Weisserman
2 days ago
I had gotten out of work earlier this evening, absolutely exhausted from making food all day, but also absolutely famished. The last thing I wanted to do was make more food at home, so when my wife said "We should get pizza for dinner", I was ecstatic! We deliberated where to go for about 30 seconds while driving around trash picking in Ferndale and then remembered that, hey, neither of us can remember the last time we got Pizza Hut, we loved it as kids, let's get Pizza Hut again!
I should have been thrown off by the fact that when I walked in the door less than 15 minutes after ordering, my dinner was already sitting in the warmer, waiting for me. But, you know what, we all make mistakes. And mine, friends, begun when I hit "Place order" on the website.
The main truly impressive thing was than, between when I placed the order and when I walked in my front door, not even 25 minutes had passed, yet the pizza itself was room temperature, with the cheese presented in such a manner implying that it had been sitting out for several hours. As a whole, it was just impressively underdone, almost like the inside of a dinner roll that had been ripped in half and dropped in a glass of water.
Luckily, my home oven was still hot, as my wife had just made cookies, so we set it back up to 450° and put it back in for another 12 minutes, on a preheated tray. Somehow, this made literally no difference. It was hot now, but it was still underdone. Unfortunately, reheating it also killed any flavor, and I was now facing something more on par with the foam filling of a jail cell pillow.
I ultimately wound up scraping off the cheese and toppings and eating just the crust (doused in hot sauce) until I was no longer hungry, then setting the rest of it outside for stray raccoons. This also backfired; when I went outside again an hour later, there was a second Pizza Hut pizza outside. It truly felt like the raccoons were tormenting me.
I don't think I'll order Pizza Hut again.