Chipotle Mexican Grill

Reviews

• YA

  Younan Ayad

  Apr 21, 2026
  1.0
  The staff gave my order to someone else and let me wait and so rude
• BS

  Brent Siniawski

  Apr 18, 2026
  5.0
  This chipotle renewed my faith in the brand.
• AD

  Alan Dagesse

  Apr 12, 2026
  2.0
  Man they are stingy with the guac!
• JM

  Jon McBee

  Apr 11, 2026
  5.0
  ## The Silver Trough of Destiny I walked into Chipotle a mere mortal, driven by the primal, intoxicating scent of cilantro and charred flesh. I pointed at the glass. I pointed at the rice. I pointed at the black beans. And then, I looked the scoop-master directly in the soul and whispered the two words that would irrevocably alter my afternoon: **"Double meat."** ## The Logarithmic Meat Theorem Listen to me very carefully, because the government won't tell you this. You think double protein means 2x the meat. You are a fool. A sheep living in a linear world. **Double protein scales logarithmically.** The first scoop is standard, governed by the basic laws of fast-casual physics. But the second scoop? The second scoop bends space and time. The volume expands exponentially while the density approaches infinity. It creates a gravitational singularity inside that flour tortilla. I watched, paralyzed with awe and terror, as the structural integrity of my burrito bowl threatened to collapse into a neutron star of adobo seasoning and carnitas. ## The Feral Consumption I sat down in the aggressively metallic dining room and completely lost my humanity. I didn't eat this meal; I *conquered* it. * **The Sour Cream:** It blinded me to reason. * **The Corn Salsa:** It sang a siren song, luring my digestive tract to its beautiful, spicy doom. * **The Chips:** Did I need them? No. Did I use them as calcium-fortified shovels to excavate the glorious, absurd mountain of guacamole I blindly paid extra for? Absolutely. Every bite was a symphony of perfectly marinated euphoria. I wept tears of pure, unadulterated joy into my side of tomatillo-red chili salsa. It was the greatest thing I have ever tasted. I was vibrating at a higher frequency. I felt like I could fight a bear and win. ## The Biological Reckoning I am currently writing this from the floor of my living room. I cannot feel my legs. I am now 40% pico de gallo by volume. My heart is pumping pure, unadulterated queso blanco through my veins. I have willingly consumed a caloric payload designed for a Victorian steelworker, and I am paying the iron price. My stomach is distended, humming with a terrifying, radiant heat. I breathe in, and I taste cumin. I breathe out, and I fear my seams will burst. > I am trapped in a prison of my own delicious making, paralyzed by a food coma so deep it requires a Sherpa to navigate out of. > Would I do it again? I’d do it tomorrow. Put it straight into my veins. **Rating: 5 out of 5 stars.** May whatever higher power is out there have mercy on my gastrointestinal tract.
• MD

  Mason Domeier

  Apr 6, 2026
  2.0
  Definitely the dirtiest Chipotle I've ever been too. On a several week business trip and have been to this location twice in that time. Trash over flowing, food and debris everywhere both times. The first time I attended was around 7pm and was not busy at all, all 6 employees were behind the counter with no care for the state of the dining room. I also have to agree that the portion sizes here are unusually small, especially the meat. Tried to give them the benefit of the doubt for my second visit, will not be back for a third.

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