⭐⭐⭐
It’s a Co-op. You know what a Co-op is.
Bread. Milk. Meal deals. Slightly expensive cheese.
This particular branch does, however, seem to offer an additional service: an extremely relaxed approach to whether you actually pay for any of it.
The shoplifting is so blatant at times that you start questioning whether you've misunderstood the business model.
I'm standing there like an idiot with my debit card while someone else appears to be completing Supermarket Sweep without Dale Winton or any obvious intention of visiting the till.
To be fair to the staff, they seem to have reached the philosophical stage of retail employment.
They see it happening.
They know it's happening.
But there's an unmistakable look of, “What exactly would you like me to do about it?”
And frankly, I don't blame them. They're there to stack shelves and serve customers, not apprehend someone disappearing down the road with £40 worth of Lurpak.
Then we come to security.
Now, it would be unfair to accuse the security guards of stealing anything.
Except perhaps a living.
Because based purely on what I've witnessed, their role appears to be largely observational.
Very observational.
Almost David Attenborough.
“And here we see the shoplifter in his natural habitat. Notice how he approaches the exit carrying twelve steaks. The security guard remains perfectly still. He mustn't startle him.”
They can't — or won't — appear to do much about it, and trying to have a conversation with them about what's happening seems equally pointless. Presumably they're working within whatever instructions they've been given, which raises the bigger question:
Surely someone higher up has a better idea than this?
Because the current system occasionally seems to be:
Security guard: present.
Shoplifter: present.
Crime: visible.
Intervention: let's not get carried away.
Meanwhile, I'm still standing there.
Paying.
Like an absolute mug.
Otherwise, it's a perfectly normal Co-op. Staff are decent, it sells everything you'd expect and it's convenient.
Just occasionally feels like I'm the only person who hasn't discovered the promotional code WALKOUT100.