Overall, slightly above average for around these parts, but still the the culinary equivalent of a shrug.
Some good deals, some good stuff, some aggressively average stuff, some truly naff stuff, and a few items so vile they should probably come with a warning label and a priest, and make sure you use the App, it’s the difference between “mild disappointment” and “acceptable life choice”. 6/10.
Ah yes, the Fry Awards, the industry’s way of saying “we tried”. Anyone who has ever been to an actual good chip shop will know this place winning an award is… well… imaginative. Make of that what you will.
The Fish, is the star of the show. Usually pretty good, occasionally very good, sometimes overdone, sometimes soggy, but rarely a disaster. It’s one thing you can order without needing emotional support. 8/10.
Roasted/Rotisserie Chicken, when it’s fresh out of the oven, it’s glorious, the kind of chicken that makes you briefly believe life is going well. When it’s been sitting around too long, it becomes a chewy relic from a bygone era. Go on deal days (Weds/Sat) and you’ll be happy. 8/10.
Scampi, hard to mess up, and they don’t, usually, so generally decent enough, occasionally overdone, always slightly overpriced. The Switzerland of the menu: neutral, safe, fine. 6/10.
Fried Chicken, perfectly ok. Not great, not tragic, just… there. The SFC is decent enough and worth grabbing on deal days (Weds/Sat) if you like this kind of thing, otherwise you’ll feel mildly robbed. Other places do it better, but this one tries and remember, if you have the app you will get bonus points on any purchases (not just chicken) and offers too, so not a total loss if you decide having a go is on your agenda and it turns out miserable. 6/10.
Pies, the usual local pie tragedy: sweaty bottom, hard lid, existential sadness. EB does not excel here so no surprises the pies here are as rough as everywhere else in EB. Only order if you enjoy disappointment as a hobby or they are on offer and you have a keg of gravy on hand. 3/10.
Sides , Taste-wise? Fine. Value-wise? A crime. Depending on who serves you, you’ll either get a pot filled generously to the brim (joy!) or one that’s a third empty (umbrage!). Considering the price of the peas and curry sauce, this variance is unforgivable. 3/10.
Sausages, these should be foolproof. They are not, apparently, and are basically overpriced rubbery nonsense, quite possibly supplied by Dunlop. The battered ones are soggy and the saveloys are weird enough to raise philosophical questions, and considering these are literally dirt cheap, low-grade sausages, the price is an insult and the end result a step away from hideous. 2/10.
Chips, Ah yes, the chips, which turns out to be one of the culinary downfalls of the entire establishment. Despite the menu’s bold claims of “Award-winning, crispy golden chips.”, what you actually get is a lucky dip of thin, unevenly coloured, dried-up shards with chewy skins, McCoy's crisps are thicker than some of these things, and nicer too, they call it variance. I call it an imbalance of profit over quality and the fact they push some of these vile things out is a crime against the spud and the customer.
Portions vary a bit too much, small boxes get overstuffed as a pretend large chips, and crushed as they try to force the lid down, and 75% of the time, for me, after picking out any that actually resemble chips, most of them go straight in the bin because they are literally trash, though to be fair, you may get a decent effort on the chip front on the odd occasion, dependant on time of day and who is frying, even the exorbitant mushy peas or curry sauce cannot resurrect them in their usual form, a true misadventure in chips. 1/10.
Staff, some absolute gems here, friendly, chatty, genuinely lovely people who brighten your day. A couple of good friers too. And then… there are the others. Overall though, the good ones carry the team. 7/10.