Just left, felt like I was pranked.
Purchased an air pump a few weeks ago. It’s defective. Guy at the counter says I need a receipt to exchange for a new one.
I don’t have a physical receipt, I ask if he can look it up with my phone #. He says yes, but he “doesn’t know how to do that. Come back tomorrow”
No, I want the replacement today. Fine. I ask if I purchase another air pump, to get a receipt, and return the defective one right now if that would work. He says “yes”.
I stand in line to purchase another air pump. As I walk to the counter, the same man asks me “How can I help you?”. Can’t make this up.
I play along, “I’m purchasing this air pump”. The transaction completes. I hold the mighty receipt high in the air before I advise him to return the air pump. He looks confused. I ask him again “Return this air pump, please.”
After scanning my receipt he motions through the return flow. Then he laughs. I walked in the store smiling but I am no longer smiling. He flips the computer screen around and points to the words “second person needed to approve transaction”. He says the system is not going to permit return without manager approval. I say, confused, “But you are the manager”.
He tells me to read the screen again. It says the same thing I just read “second person needed to approve transaction”. I point to the second rep at the counter and the manager says “You need a gray shirt”.
I need a what?
“A gray shirt. Somebody with a gray shirt has to do it”
Alright, what the world is happening? I look at the manager, in his gray shirt and say “You have on a gray shirt. Right now. The shirt you’re wearing is gray.”
Am I losing my mind?
“I have a gray shirt but you need the second person” the manager in the gray shirt says.
It’s official. I’ve lost my mind because he’s smiling at me as if he’d given me good news and I’m clearly misunderstanding something important.
I ask if the second person can do the return and he, as a manager, approve the transaction, since he’s wearing the one, the only: Indestructible, Fantastic, Transcendent and Majestic Gray Shirt within the Zone of Automobiles.
He says “if he does it he’ll get in trouble..”
Oh, well we don’t want that now do we?
I ask him plainly “Are you going to return it?”
“I can’t, look it won’t let me”
I reiterate, “Sir, I have a defective air pump purchased from you a few weeks ago and I’m trying to exchange it. At this point, what do you suggest I do? This is crazy”
He chuckles and AGREES “I don’t know what to tell you. This is crazy. Come back tomorrow we’ll have 3 gray shirts”
I ask again “are you telling me I cannot return a product I just purchased with my receipt right now?”
He says “that’s right”.
I ask for a card or something. He says “I don’t have one”
AutoZone. Help me. Please. Or if this is a comedy skit and I was being filmed for entertainment I’d like to discuss my royalties.
