DM
Donna Lynn Mellon
Oct 31, 2023
I started looking at assisted living facilities in the fall of 2021. My mother, age 91 at that time, was living in an independent living facility, with some help from an outside agency regarding some activities of daily living. Up until that point, she had been very resistant to moving. My concerns for my mother were that she sometimes missed meals and was becoming increasingly isolated. She had also lost a lot of weight and was seemingly overwhelmed by day-to-day activities. I go to Florida each winter for four months and knew that she needed more supervision in my absence.
Overall, I went to look at seven facilities, and each time requested a free meal. I wanted to see how active the residents were and wanted to test the food. While every place had a waiting list, all facilities are not created equal. Some places were downright depressing, while the one facility that was the most luxurious, had a two year wait simply because they could not find help. There was one entire floor unoccupied due to no staffing. Many places failed the food test, serving lackluster and lukewarm tasteless fare. One place did not have a safe set up for the mini fridge, with it being on the floor rather than raised up for easy access. Some places were too impersonal.
I asked for help from my daughter-in-law to view the last three on the list. Each time we asked ourselves if we would feel comfortable leaving my mother there. When we visited Brookdale, the visit was well organized. After a tour, we all had lunch with two residents who extolled the virtues of Brookdale, and encouraged us to ask them any questions at all.
What sold us on Brookdale - before my mother moved in:
1-Many employees have been there for more than ten years.
2-The food was delicious. The dining room is wonderfully bright with access on either side to the outside. They grow a vegetable garden.
3-There is a large front veranda of sorts where residents often spend time.
4-It is a small facility in a quiet location, that is also convenient to Cary and surrounding areas.
5-It feels like home.
The only drawback my daughter-in-law and I found was that the facility was in need up updating compared to some of the newer places we had visited. However, last year they did a refresh on the inside and the place is beautiful. We decided that the feeling of home and the wonderful food clinched the deal.
What continues to clinch the deal with Brookdale after my mother moved in:
1-Everyone on staff knows her name, and deals with her with respect, extraordinary patience, and genuine caring.
2-She is checked on multiple times a day, just by people dropping in to remind her of meals, to give meds, or to bring around "free" snacks (which my mother loves!) Due to their diligence, she was found very soon after three different falls, and received the medical attention necessary right away.
3-The activities director is very involved with the residents, and often hosts smaller dinner parties for those who are interested, in addition to running games in house, etc. My mother had stopped going to bingo at her last place, but is now participating twice weekly, and loves it.
4-There are small social gatherings on a regular basis.
5-Most medical needs can be attended to on site. My mother has had x-rays, dental cleanings, on site physical therapy, and regular checkups as well as check-ups on demand. I can ask the agency to look at my mother for any issue, and a medical professional will visit her.
I always thought of assisted living as a place where people needed help with some type of disability. However, it appears assisted living is where a group of caring people work unobtrusively, yet with encouragement, to help someone be as independent as possible. Brookdale is giving my mother a better quality of life that she would otherwise have if she were living with me (where she'd miss all the socialization and activities) or in independent living (where she could hurt herself and not be found for hours).
She is safe and happy - what more is there?