The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Reviews

• AW

  Ace Weight

  Jul 16, 2019
  1.0
  Why I hate the Mormon Church 7/16/2019 I felt guilt. I felt like I was doing something wrong. God didn't want to speak to me or maybe I just couldn't understand him correctly because this church did not feel right to me. I was in this cycle of feeling shame so I would go to the LDS church to try to feel cleansed and the cycle continued. I would feel a distance from a doctrine the church taught, and I again felt guilt. Guilt. Always guilt. This is another thing that I noticed a lot during my time in this church. Other members of the church will tell you that if you question something, pray about it. They want you (or at least they say they want you) to always ask God if something is true. But here's the catch. If you come back from that prayer or pondering session and feel that the doctrine isn't correct, you're wrong. I experienced this first hand. The Book of Mormon comes with a promise that if you read it, ponder it, ask God in ernest prayer, he will reveal it's truth to you....but it doesn't say what to do if you don't get that answer. I got the distinct feeling that it is NOT true. Now who do I talk to? More guilt. see Moroni chapter 10:3-5 called Moroni's promise. Just as it says in the BOOK of Revelation about adding to or taking away from "this book" the book of Moroni might be true, but what about all the other books or plates in the Book of Mormon? I had an open mind and heart about everything this church had to offer me but every time I would ponder it, something felt wrong. Actually, a lot of things felt wrong. But when I would talk to my church leaders about my finding, they would shrug it off or tell me that I wasn't asking properly or I have closed heart. They put the blame on me, not the sexist doctrine. The mind games began. I see the priesthood like this. In the Mormon religion you need to be baptized, go through the temple to make ordinances with the Lord/God and to be married in the temple being sealed to your husband/wife. All of these steps require the blessing of a priesthood holder, a man. So basically to go to heaven, a man has to let me. If I smoke, or drink coffee, I am not worthy to attend the temple. But to get to Mormon heaven, I must be temple worthy. If I'm not temple worthy, what's the point? just more guilt. I won't get to heaven by simply loving others. I won't get to heaven by being a compassionate person. I won't go to heaven if I serve others. I can only get to heaven if a MAN blesses me and if a MAN tells me I am worthy and if a WOMAN wants to take me to the temple. See the issue here? MORE GUILT. I tried and tried, prayed and prayed, but each time I felt in my heart that it wasn't the right thing for me. Notice I say for me. The LDS church can be incredible for many people, I believe that. But I also believe that when you search your own heart and allow yourself to be one with the universe (or some may say the spirit) and something doesn't feel right, it isn't. This whole "be one with yourself, be one with the universe" thing is a principle that took me some time to grasp. Now that it does, I get angry when I look back at my young self feeling like I was not good enough for God. The leaders of the church helped to make me the way I am.

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