KW
Kathi Wickizer
Aug 25, 2025
So picture this: me, a girly girl in sandals and lip gloss, standing in the AutoZone parking lot as it starts to rain. My phone is about to die, my fuse is blown, and I’m about to have to raw-dog life without GPS or Spotify. Not happening.
Act I: Trendy Haircut Guy. I walk in, manual in hand, hoping for a little old-fashioned gentlemanly help. Instead, I get a baby-faced teen with a waxed, curled mustache like he’s starring in some high school theater version of Les Mis. I explain I can’t find the UBC fuse in my manual. He looks at me like I just asked him to explain quantum physics, then... silence. Three minutes of the kind of silence that belongs in a hostage negotiation, not an AutoZone. Finally, his big advice? “Maybe take it to a specialist.” Sir, it’s a $7 fuse, not brain surgery.
Act II: The Rescue. I walk next door to Brakes Plus and ask Jennifer. In 10 seconds she finds the fuse in my manual, and in another 10 seconds she double-checks it on the computer. Twenty seconds total and boom, we’re good.
Act III: Ponytail Guy. Back at AutoZone, enter Exhibit B: skinny kid, long ponytail, wearing a full COVID mask like it’s still 2020. I ask if I can borrow needle-nose pliers. He hands me a pair but then, with all the seriousness of a bank loan officer, tells me he needs collateral in case I steal them. For pliers. At this point I’m standing there in hoop earrings and lip gloss like, “Really, honey?” But fine. I give him my phone, dash out into the very soft drizzle, yank my fuse like a pro, and come back all misty.
Act IV: The Hop. I hand him the fuse. He *hops* literally hops over to the aisle like a Disney side character. He’s struggling. I finally reach over and find the exact fuse myself, swipe my card for $6.90, pop it in outside, and boom -phone charging, mission accomplished.
Final thoughts? Bless these boys. They were very, very young (late teens, maybe early twenties) and clearly just doing their best... but let me tell you, no one was swooning. If you need a laugh, a pocket full of man cards, and a cardio workout chasing down your own parts, this is your spot. If you want actual help and maybe a dash of chivalry, keep driving.